Real Craigslist Postings

The following are a collection of CRAIGSLIST postings that I have personally found while looking for items in the AL/NW FL part of the country. I am NOT making fun of people who can’t spell — I just find that some grammatical/spelling errors create great opportunities for at least a teeny smile. 

The slightly odd . . .

Extra Wide Potty Chair NEVER USED! – $150

Extra wide bedside potty chair…. never been used! Got after having surgery and wasnt needed. Asking $150 OBO

and to go with the extra wide potty chair, we have . . .

Big industrial wipes Lot of 6 – $30

I have a lot of 6 “Big wipes industrial” wipes. There brand new and never opened

Eggs From Happy Chickens – $3

Eggs from happy free range chickens $3.00 dozen

*~* Walker*~* Low Miles – $15

Sunmark aluminum walker, model 632KD, adjustable and collapsible, like new condition as evident in the below picture. Call  or email if interested. Thank you (It’s hard to imagine one putting high miles on a walker.)

free 2 rednose pit mixed with dashound 1 girl 1 boy

Wonder what that looks like?

mismatched socks

a bunch!!! email me if u want…in trade i’ll take something small like a package of notebook paper…

Bolens Limb Chipper – $1

Nothing really wrong here – just sounds kind of funny. Might necessitate a visit to my sister for some artificial limbs.

 

WANTED:

Broom

I really need a new broom and I can’t afford to buy one, anyone have an extra one in good shape please call me…..Thanks (Okay – it would be easier for someone to throw a $5 in the mail to her. . .)

Tropical/Jungle Party Decorations (Adult)

Wanted- Tropical and jungle party decorations (adult) for area ministry event. Will pay reasonable price.  (something odd about the “adult” and the “ministry event” in the same sentence.)

IN NEED OF A WORKING FRIDGE

MY STAINLESS FENCH DOOR FRIDGE JUST WENT OUT IF ANY ONE HAS A FRIDGE THAT IS TAKEING UP SPACE GETS COLD AND IS INEXPENSIVE PLEASE EMAIL ME BACK (Um, I think the part about the stainless french door stuff probably won’t help with the charity request. . .  Oh, and that’s “French”, not “Fench” )

 little boy’s undies – $1

We’re about ready to be potty trained so my little grandson need size 2 training pants and underwear. Must be in good shape and stain free. Willing to pay reasonable prices. If you have size 4′s we’ll take those also; he can grow into them.
Thanks in advance. (Dear Grandmother – they sell these for a reasonable price at Walmart. )

14k gold fingernails

need more gold nails! buy or will trade!!!

steel toe tennis shoes – $1

Want to buy a pair of steel toe tennis shoe style shoes…9.5 or 10 med width.I will pay cash…send a pic of what you have an a price…. (Seems like it would be a bit bulky for tennis . . .)

well worn heels – $1

Wanting well worn heels(old and smelly). Ladies…just don’t throw them out.

Fresh Elephant Excrement  – $999

Elephant Excrement for $9.99 per load bring your triple axle dump trucks and wagons. Great for my wallet call . Will load for small fee

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The misspelled . . .

EXAM TABLE WITH FOOT STURRIPS – $250

(Can they go ahead and misspell stirrups to make it all the more humiliating for the poor table? If you are a man and don’t understand this, please move on to the next item. )

3 in 1 Exercauser – $50

Evenflo 3 in 1 exercauser, like brand new. Used for one child from baby to toddler. This exercauser changes from a play mat to a sit and play exercauser and then to a stand and play walk around S shape type toy.

I guess if you broke it down to “cause” vs. “sauce”, the author would have known the difference.  Although, if there were a way to exercise for a good cause, it would likely be a hit!

Free Palm Frawns

Pile of palm frawns free. Come pick them up….  (Alas – I could not discover what a frawn is, but they’re free! However, I think I’ll just stick with the ones from the store, complete with palm fronds.)

Registered Guilding Paint Pony – $500

Very gentle and quiet $500 obo (umm. . . gelding? I’m guessing? Or else it’s a poor animal covered in gold.)

MINATURE HORSE GUILDING

Verry gentle minature black guiolding horse (didn’t look quite right in the title, so I’ll try again. Oh, and I’ll throw in an extra “r” so that they know I really mean it when I say he’s gentle. Wait – should I call a gelding a “he”? Actually, the definition of “guilding” that goes like this –  3. Any superficial coating or appearance, as opposed to what is solid and genuine. – might actually apply to the technicalities of a horse with his, er, surgical procedure completed. )

hand made black sandle  – $450

paid over 750 for the sandle almost brand new im askin 450 – Seems like a lot to pay for one lone shoe.

 

The completely wrong word . . .

Rocking Chair and Automan 

Rocking chair and ottoman. Works perfectly. We moved and now have no space for it (and our baby is growing up!).
Right arm is loose, some glue and should be good as new. (At least they got it right in the ad. Would hate to put my feet up on that automan.)

 

And my favorites. . .

Horse Maneuver – $50

Got some fresh, out of the stalls, horse maneuver. Great for gardens and plants! I’ve got a whole truck bed full.
$50! CASH ONLY!

2 WENCHES/ LARGE

I HAVE 2 LARGE WENCHES PTO TYPE , LIKES USED ON A WRECKER . MAKE ME A RESONABLE
OFFER.  (This sounds slightly different than your average bar wench).

wench tractor hook up – $400

- (In case you do get those two large ones.)

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